To begin again

One of the things that I deeply enjoy about the Montessori Method is that it provides children with an

opportunity to learn "within themselves". What I mean is this. While there are certain conditions that must be put in place in order to make a Montessori environment and its members conducive to learning, the child is not forced to follow a regimented curriculum that was first put upon a student population that leans heavily on non-fixed life factors (socio-economic levels, dominant cultural narratives etc), but on what binds us together as the one human community: stages of human development. This leaves room for a child to be themselves as they are driven by their inner determination to grow and thrive within their specific societies. In the children's house (3-6) as well as the lower elementary (6-9) and beyond, children are given the tools they need to learn and practice peace in a community. Then they are given morsels of the whole world, able to go as in depth as they desire. Both in the public and private Montessori schools that I've had the privilege to teach in, I was always a bit envious. 

(Need to repent of that.)  

An interesting childhood

The reality is, I didn't go to a Montessori school growing up. I did have some wonderful, loving teachers in the public schools to which I belonged. I also had some pretty awful ones. But I focused most of my attention on performing well on tests and hiding  my successes from my peers so as not to be labeled, "nerd". That's what they called me anyway. I was deemed peculiar because I didn't ascribe to the culture that surrounded me in the inner city of Detroit...and not for lack of trying.  By my black peers I was often told that I "talked white". My white peers were rather sparse as the effects of White flight were still quite present, even though it as the 90's.  But when we traveled to the suburbs where most of the White folks had fled, I noticed the looks. Fun fact: this is where most of the Montessori schools of Michigan still are (this one definitely didn't exist when I was growing up). So there was a lot of fear and discomfort throughout childhood. It wasn't about growing in confidence and a joy of learning. Rather the joy of learning was often stifled by making sure my scores stayed high. Performing in the right way in the right settings, was the focus. 

What dreams may come

And so I wonder sometimes what I would presently be if I'd been given the opportunity to go to a Montessori school growing up. Would I have a different level of emotional and intellectual resilience? Would I be more confident in who I am rather than the scores I could get? Granted, I realize that being at a Montessori school is not the ultimate deciding factor (Christ is), but what an opportunity it would've been! The reality is, many black and brown folks don't have that opportunity. While there is an increasing amount of public Montessori schools growing throughout the country, most are still private, out of the income bracket of many BIPOC (Black Indigenous People of Color) and their families. Maybe that's part of the reason I'm this profession. Certainly I desire to serve and aid all the children in my care, no matter their background. Particularly if their world is white and I'm the first (and maybe only) black teacher they've had, or will ever have. But I also specifically make sure the few black and brown children who do enter my Montessori classrooms are seen, loved, and built up. That they too can have the opportunity to learn "within themselves". Because the reality is there still aren't a lot of us on either side of the pink tower. This needs to change.