Preparation of the Adult

The Gauges of our Lives

At the beginning of every month, I like to do an inventory of where I am in completing my goals. I made a vision board for the first time this year and it still matters to me (in spite of the unprecedented nature of this year's global events) to accomplish each of the ideas I established. I will finish my Montessori certification after a few years of striving. I will pay off three of my student loans (I've already done 1), and the list goes on. 

But along with this inventory of goals, I also do an overall health check. I often use this model from Leaders Life and Work blog. I consider the month that has transpired and ask myself the question, "How am I actually doing? Am I taking care of myself?" The results lead to planning how to better steward my time talents and treasures in the coming month.

As this is the beginning of July, I realize that we are now halfway done with 2020. While there is some excitement in this realization, it gives me yet another opportunity to consider how we might check the gauges of being a Montessori teacher. Just as there is a continual need to "check the gauges" of our lives so that we might be our best selves, perhaps it's possible to do so for this unique profession. It ought not to be thought that the teacher simply takes a vacation over the summer. Far from it! While we do rest (hopefully), we also prepare. This includes the preparation of the self.

"The teacher...has many difficult functions to perform. Her cooperation is not at all excluded, but it becomes prudent, delicate, and manifold. She does not have need of words, or energy, or severity; but she must be able to make prudent observations, to assist a child by going up to, or withdrawing from, him, and by speaking or keeping silence in accordance with his needs." M. Montessori The Discovery of the child

Montessori Gauges

I'm constantly trying to study what new findings have come out about child development as well as going over what I already know to be true based on my experiences with children. But none of this takes the place of truly becoming a student of the child in front of you! This will certainly aid in understanding the needs of that child. It might be worth asking, "How quickly do I come to the rescue of a child without evaluating the situation more fully?" My default is to be "helpful"; to see struggle and to bring ease. But depending on the situation and the child, discomfort may be the very thing that leads them to a discovery. Since it was the child who discovered it, then there is ownership for their own knowledge, only feeding the virtue of independence. I'm often challenged in making observations quickly and just as quickly making assumptions based on them. Sometimes I'm right. But sometimes I'm quite wrong. And when that happens, I often wonder if I ought to have gathered more data, and done so more objectively. Sometimes we need to just slow down. Additionally, How often do I react emotionally, rather than taking a moment to see what the child is feeling? My Positive Discipline toolbox helps me a lot in this situation. My emotion about a child's reaction, may be the very thing that the child is feeling. If a child is angry, they may try to get even and lash out. This makes me (the teacher) angry. But if I take a moment to recover from my anger, I could facilitate a teachable moment, giving the child an opportunity to see other outlets for their anger, while also listening to their grievance.

Persevering towards Peace

Finally I have to continue to ask myself as a reminder, "Do I understand and embrace my position?" The children in my care have a biological father and mother. Whether or not these adults are actively performing their roles, the role is not mine. Understanding my own limitations in the lives of these children is often difficult. But recognizing the breadth and length of influence that is present is a weighty responsibility. It's definitely a balance. Catherine McTamaney author of The Tao of Montessori  says it better than anyone else I've read:

"While bearing witness to the normalized child serves us well, encourages us to continue to do this work, and gives foundation to our accomplishment as teachers, sometimes the most important work we do is for the child we never see change"

Am I willing to still do my work diligently on behalf of a child who demonstrates no progression while I am with them? Do I love them that much? By God's grace I desire more often than not for my truthful reply to be, "I really do".