A lot has happened (and moving forward)

Moving forward

A few weeks ago I celebrated one year of living in Massachusetts. A year ago, I drove a UHaul truck with my few belongings to a storage unit, and began living with a 92 year old woman who'd been in her town all her life. She's a lovely Christian woman, who I learned so much from in those months. One thing in particular is that it is easy to become accustomed to doing things your way. I never want to become too comfortable in that mindset. Working with children has the ability to amplify your desire to have power "over", or it can increase your flexibility to have power "with". Both ways of being require practice.

So after ten years of living in New York City, working at a total of 3 schools in 10 years, I decided that I was done in the Big Apple. I wanted to leave before I hated the place. The extremes of humanity so easily found in Gotham wore on my heart and mind. To experience it daily--homelessness, unfathomable wealth, continued partiality and segregation--without the healing balm of natural spaces, was too much. I've since moved out of the 92 year old's home and found my own apartment in a neighboring town. Across the street is the Mystic River, and all the buildings are nestled beneath ancient trees. The sound of crickets has returned to my ears, where before it was only traffic. I'm very thankful for this experience.

Moving upward

I am acutely aware of the reality that God's hand has been with me through all of my experiences. This is why, at this new school, it's important to me to intentionally walk with a worshipful gaze as I work excellently. I don't want to get too comfortable, as though worldly success is my goal. But I want to demonstrate a changed mind and heart, so that I can showcase God's power in changing our tyrannical tantrum-like ways to ones of nobility, joy, and motivating change in the world. It can't be about me. It must be about Christ.

To that end I'm taking the weekend to reflect on the gifts God has given me. Also, I'm humbly considering the reality of what is being asked of me for yet another school year, to guide children to their full potential and not get in their way. Even after ten years of teaching, I still try to take it a day at a time.

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A return

It's been a long while since I've used writing as an outlet for thinking about Montessori pedagogy. But I have been using my voice in other ways. When I was growing up, I was slow to speak and would more likely be found writing in a journal rather than talking to others. There are some tendencies (not in the Montessori sense) that stick with you, even into adulthood. But lately, even in shyness, I've been speaking more rather than writing; sometimes to my colleagues regarding the lessons I've learned about the classroom; sometimes to parents to remind them that they are doing the most difficult of jobs, and that I know they're child well. But what I'd forgotten is how the written word has a magic to it that cannot--or perhaps ought not--be forsaken. It is in the written word that the ideas of one person can be conveyed, at least in part, to a completely different person. And in that transfer, hearts can be shared as well as minds. It's how I learned about...

Riches beyond compare

Right now I am on Spring break, so it allows me the opportunity to be able to write. I'm thankful for this. But I am also thankful for the privilege of being able to teach in a lot of different spaces, to children of all ages. Teachers are an interesting breed, especially those guides of young children. They tend to have such big hearts, yet can also be prone towards wanting to control our little towns inside our classrooms, forgetting the bigger picture. Depending on the type of guide you are (in public school, or private school, Montessori or otherwise) you have such a limited time with these little ones. The mark that you have on their lives will go well beyond your own. The same is true for the families we get to serve. Usually we are with them at the beginning of their journey as parents. So it speaks to the type of impact we can have on everyone in the household. What a privilege to carry. And yet it's so exhausting. The self control and thoughtfulness is far be...

Something I want my students to know...

I've had the privilege of teaching young children for about ten years. From the first fearful step into the 3rd grade classroom of P.S. 154 as a City Year Corps member, to looking up at my ninth and tenth graders during my teacher fellow year at the Collegiate Institute of Math and Science, I've been humbled to be in the presence of these young people. And now, in a primary Montessori classroom, with children who will remember me as one of their first teachers--if not the first teacher they've ever had--the stakes feel higher, even as I have to bend lower to look at my students in their eyes. I sometimes wonder if the message I want to get across to each child comes through in the way I'm teaching. If not, here's what I'd want them to know: Everyday I think about how I can be a better guide to you, and everyday I feel more inadequate to do so. I want you to know that you have far greater ability than you think, particularly the ability to do good in the world....

Grace and Courtesy

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