Spring tea and the way we lead

I remember asking my college roommate, what do you think it means to be a man? To which he probably thought that this skinny black guy was crazy. I think his response was something like this: "Being a man and knowing it is not something you recognize, because the by the time you really are one, you'll be too busy to think about it." Seeing as I began writing this post a year ago and never got around to finishing it until now, I think I reached that point of manhood some time ago. But Montessori takes it in a very different direction. Since within humanity is a capacity towards the savage and the gentle, these two  demonstrate themselves in masculine and feminine ways. It is not that women are one and men are the other. When I began writing this post, I had in mind the civility of peace and courtesy which is embedded within the Montessori curriculum. This is taught to both boys and girls, because both boys and girls have a tendency towards and an interest in the ways in which a well adjusted adult conducts themselves in society. Some children's houses around the world often culminate this experience with a Spring Tea. It provides a practical opportunity for children to demonstrate their fine and gross motor skills, all in service to another (usually the adults in their lives).

And yet a Spring tea doesn't sound particularly manly. But then, neither does picking up a young child upon your lap, grabbing a tissue for his face and nose, and speaking in low soothing tones...

Or perhaps it's just what masculinity needs in this day.

If God has made man in his image, after His likeness, and God experiences both anger and joy,  expressing sadness with tears and gladness with singing, shall not I? He who was most fully human, Jesus, was a man, and this man wept. God Himself has placed the parameters of our existence. When humanity adds more to that, they tend to self-sabotage.

So I shall teach my children gentleness and resilience, to be firm and to consider the feelings of others. I shall teach them to be grand humans, which means I must be a model for them to follow. Rudeness and lack of manners does not demonstrate masculinity.To believe so is to diminish what men can be. Please pass the tea.